Sooo, I have a confession to make: I haven’t seen Frozen.
Stop yelling at me!
Yeah. I can hear you through the computer, and it’s loud. Can I continue now? Thank you.
No, I haven’t seen Frozen. I might not ever see Frozen. And I don’t think that makes me a bad person.
Before you classify me as an animation/Disney/musical/happiness hater and unfollow me, can I just say that I’m actually the opposite? I love Disney movies. I love musicals. The only thing I love more are Disney musicals. As an adult, I have seen many of these in the theaters and/or watched them repeatedly at home. And Tangled, which is supposed to take place in the same universe as Frozen? LOVE that movie. Saw it in theaters, watched it multiple times on Netflix (before they took it off-grr), know all the songs, and kind of want to watch it right this second. I also have a sister that I’m very close with, so you’d think that an animated Disney musical about two sisters whose bond overcomes all sorts of obstacles would be right up my alley, right? There was a time when I wanted to see it. I remember watching the first trailer for it last summer and thinking, “Oh, Emma and I should go see this!” But my sister lives 2 hours away, and it’s not like the Hubbster was going to go see this in the theater with me. So I just kind of, didn’t see it. I wasn’t avoiding it or anything. I just kept not going.
The internet was blowing up with all things Elsa and Anna. I kept seeing memes featuring Josh Gad’s snowman character (I have no idea what the character’s name is, just that he can completely dismember himself and yet still exist as a consciousness, which is fine). Every new YouTube video was a parody of “Let It Go” by either grown men (i.e. firefighters, athletic organizations, etc) or adorable children wearing pretty dresses and braids. Idina Menzel even went on Jimmy Fallon and gave it the classroom toys treatment. After about a month of the internet frenzy, I suddenly realized that despite it being everywhere, I hadn’t actually heard the song. We turned off the Oscars around 9:15 (“Is this thing really supposed to go on for another hour? I love Ellen, but let’s just go to bed”) and therefore missed both Idina’s performance and John Travolta’s butchering of her name.* Much like I hadn’t avoided the movie itself, I hadn’t purposely avoided “Let It Go” either. I just never made an effort to actually hear it. Then it kind of became a game. How long can I go without hearing that song?
Answer: A long time.
I still haven’t heard “Let It Go.” I still haven’t seen Frozen. And you can tell me that I’m missing out on something spectacular and moving and yada-yada-yada away about it. But at this point… I think I’m good.
*To be fair to Travolta, everyone was flubbing on the teleprompter. And if his wig is any indication of his refusal to age, he probably needs reading glasses and won’t go to the eye doctor.