Dear Steven Moffat,
I love Doctor Who.
I’m not claiming to be a super fan or anything. I haven’t seen any classic Who episodes. I don’t have a Dalek-adorned Christmas tree, a closet full of Weeping Angel hoodies or my own dedicated Whovian Tumblr page. But I do love the show. I love the awesome way in which you balance darkness and humor and heart, which isn’t a small feat. And ultimately it’s not the fantastical story lines, but that heart that pulls us in as fans. We care about the Doctor. His time traveling blue box that’s bigger on the inside is just an added bonus.
And it’s not just the Doctor that we care about. We care about the people around him, which is why I cried like a little baby during the Ponds’ last episode. His companions are always so brave and full of gumption. And British. Yeah, as far as the female companions go, they’re all very British (or Scottish). Which is completely understandable, since it’s a British show. Still, I’ve recently lamented the fact that even if all of the planets were to align in my favor, I probably couldn’t be cast as a companion due to my American-ness. Then the other night, I happened to watch the BBC America special ‘Doctor Who in the U.S.’ and I decided something: Maybe Doctor Who is ready for a full-on American companion.
All through the special, everyone (including you) kept saying how surprised they are by the positive feedback they get every time they’re in America. Guess what, Steven? Do you mind if I call you Steven? I’m gonna call you Steven. Steven, we Americans love us some Doctor Who. And the numbers are only growing. So tapping into that fan base might not be such a bad idea in the near future. Just something to think about…
And while you’re thinking about it, I would like to put my name in for consideration 🙂
I know Jenna-Louise Coleman just started her companionship, and I like her a lot. I think she’ll be awesome, I’m not trying to get her sacked. But every companion has her last day with the Doctor, so I’d like to put my hat in the ring on the earlier side of later. I’ve got spunk, Steven, and you can expect to see that spunk every day on camera. Guaranteed. My many other assets include, but are not limited to:
1) I’m a fan but not a super fan. I think this plays to my advantage, not detriment. I respect the integrity and feel of the show, but I’m not going to pass out from Who-overload when I get on set and see Matt Smith. Yeah. That would happen to lots of women.
2) I have a bachelor’s degree in Communications. While that doesn’t really mean anything tangible, it does mean that I can pronounce and use big spacey words with the air that I know what they mean. Which I won’t, because like I said, I majored in Communications and not Aerospace Engineering. You need to call my friend Craig for that one.
3) I’ve done community theater. Obviously this means I am a professional actor and would know all of my lines and marks and underlying emotions all of the time without any coaching or direction of any kind.
4) What I lack in training, I more than make up for with high levels of wit, sarcasm and charm. See directly above for example.
5) While I think my playing an outright American would be awesome, I have no problem playing a British person who grew up in the states, therefore explaining my American accent but keeping the British-ness of the companion intact in the Who-verse.
5a) Also, I’m from the Midwest, so I don’t have a crazy Southern or New York kind of accent that the UK-ers won’t be able to understand. Though I can do a pretty good Southern accent should you want to be cheesy with it. Really, anything you want, Steven.
5b) Also also, there’s loads of potential for humor when the the Doctor can’t understand what I’m saying because I use expressions like “bite me” and “momentarily,” which according to Fraser McAlpine the British don’t understand. This baffles me, but it could make for some pretty hilarious moments on both sides of the pond.
6) Most importantly, I took the time to write this lovely letter and put it out on the internets. Ya gotta love initiative, right?
So, Steven Moffat, on the off-chance that this letter makes its way to you through the powers of technology and fate, don’t hesitate to e-mail me. I will also accept smoke signals or carrier pigeons with invitations to come and audition.