How To: Make Someone Apologize for a Bad Joke

[Please proceed to read this first paragraph in a ‘The Price is Right’ announcer-type voice for full effect, because that’s how I was saying it in my head when I wrote it. Thank you.]

Have you ever been hanging out with friends, and someone makes a really bad joke? Maybe it’s unnecessarily vulgar or racist, in bad taste, or just plain stupid? You have? Great. Has it happened repeatedly? So much so that you wish there was an easy way to force the joke-maker into apologizing? Well, you’re in luck!

My friends and I had that problem a lot in college. And I mean a lot. It’s college, after all. So if we weren’t partaking in certain adult beverages, we were unwinding from an exam or paper and just felt like being silly. That breeds a lot of failed attempts at actual humor. I’m not really sure how it originated, or who’s idea it was. But it’s brilliant. And I’ve told numerous people about it since, spreading the tradition as far as I can. Now, I am passing it onto all of you. It’s simple, really: just make like Hermione Granger and raise your hand.

When someone makes an unseemly joke, and at least three people in the surrounding company raise their hands, the offender has to apologize. Then you all move on and go about your business. It does require some group solidarity, so you should inform all of your friends of your new rule immediately to increase the chance of having two other rule-informed people around you in times of need.

It’s pretty effective generally, though I have encountered some difficulties in the past. Namely my friend Dan. He felt like we were picking on him, when really, he just consistently made bad jokes. Seriously. He had more hands raised at him than Hitler. Ba dum bum.

Oops. Was that a bad joke? I don’t see three of you raising your hands, so… 😉

Tell your friends, it’s gonna be a thing.

p.s. love you, D, even if you sometimes fail at life


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