Coffee of the New Year

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This isn’t my first coffee of 2013, but it is the first coffee of my new year. I’m not really one for resolutions. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever made one–not a serious one anyway. So here goes. My first ever New Years Resolution: to be fearless.
No, I did not get that from the Taylor Swift song (though I do love her I’ve never really been a fan of that particular melody). All week I’ve been snipping at the Hubbster. The last time that happened was when we were freshmen in college and I was at Miami of Ohio. It ended when he said “Jenny, you’re not happy there.” And he was right. I really wasn’t. I was just afraid to admit it. Why, I’m not really sure. Once I got it though, I went full speed. I spent the next 3 days putting together my transfer application to Illinois. I had missed the deadline (which was in January) but could still apply if I included a letter of petition and got it all in by March 1st. I didn’t find out the decision until my last day of finals. I had been calling the admissions office every day because I really didn’t want to go back to Miami. Then my online status finally changed from “Committee Review” to “Accepted.” That was a good day.
Moral of that long story: I figured out I was unhappy, identified the problem, and worked relentlessly to do something about it.
Last night when the Hubbster said “why have you been so angry this week?” I knew exactly why. Because I’ve been afraid to go after what I want. And what kills me is that I’ve actually known for a long time. I’ve just been afraid, like I was then. But not anymore.

I want to be a writer. I want to build up my blog into something special and marketable. I want to write romantic comedy type novels. I want my novels to be turned into movies. I want to study improv and acting, have supporting roles in the movies my books are turned into, and be a companion on Doctor Who (that last one is a long shot since I am American, but I think Steven Moffat could make it work). I want to be interviewed on the Daily Show and tell Jon Stewart that he is number 3 on my celebrity sex list. He will blush and it will be awesome. Most importantly I want to stop being embarrassed or scared about saying that these are things I want. In fact, I’m going to put them on the Internet, so I can’t take them back.

It’s going to be a good year.

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6 thoughts on “Coffee of the New Year

  1. This is great! It’s almost exactly what I’ve been going through and it’s really comforting to hear I’m not alone. Inspiring, even. Thanks for posting this.

    Like

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