Dear Hubbster: This stupid bed is too big.

Dear Hubbster:

I know that you have to be away for work right now, and I really shouldn’t complain because it could be worse than you being gone during the week–even if it’s lasting 9 weeks. You could be in the military, or be an international spy, or we could be in a cross-country relationship or something outlandish like that. But let me tell you something–I think I’ve completely forgotten what a good night’s sleep feels like. And I’ve come up with several possibilities as to why I can’t sleep without you: It could be that the lack of a warm body next to me is throwing off my normal night time temperature. Or that the random noises freak me out because if it is a burglar or a possum that can climb up 3 stories I will have no one to defend my sleeping self, so I have to stay awake to fend off said possum. But really, I think it’s because this stupid bed is too big.

I can’t seem to make myself sleep in the middle. I’ve tried. But it just feels weird. I like to stick my foot out of the covers sometimes when I get too hot, and I can’t do that if I’m in the middle. So I stay on my regular side, but that also feels awkward without you on your side. Any way you slice it, it’s awkward, and I don’t like it. This is my official protest. For the record. On the internet. I want to say ‘lawyered’ here but it doesn’t really apply… Piddle.

So as I lay there, not sleeping last night, I thought of a few more reasons why I love you (despite the fact that you have abandoned me). Here goes.

61. We were on the phone last night when I took my sweet potatoes out of the oven. Naturally I started to talk to them, saying things like “Are you done, sweet potatoes?” and you laughed and said “You’re just so cute.”

62. You surprised me on my birthday when I thought you were going to be stuck working all day.

63. Then, when I fell asleep on the couch, you did all of the dishes and took out the trash.

64. You crack my back when you give me a really big hug.

65. You don’t mind that I drunk dialed you at 2:30 on Saturday night, because my voicemail said “I love you to bits. Did you know that? Because I really really do.” It was slurred and possibly in a British accent, but you got the point.

66. I’m your best friend.

67. The way you rant at the television when I put on ‘White Collar’ because you don’t think it’s realistic.

68. The way you rant in general. I find it extremely sexy.

69. You saw a chandelier somewhere made out of beer bottles and asked me if we could make one. If that wasn’t enough, when I said, “For our future basement..?” You said “No, formal dining room. Yes, the basement.” I ❤ sarcasm.

70. This is your profile picture on Facebook:

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8 thoughts on “Dear Hubbster: This stupid bed is too big.

  1. Wifey’s off on a holiday at the moment, and I’m going through the same withdrawal. Apparently when I’m away, she happily takes up the whole bed. But when she’s away, I stick to my side, and just leave pillows and stuff on her side to simulate someone being there.

    Sad but true!

    Like

  2. Love this and know how you feel! I’m the wife of a cop that works nights who also is a marine with a crazy travel schedule. Those moments apart just make that time together that much better. Happy to see another couple that plays…

    Like

  3. Feel your pain chica. I’m about to do long distance for upwards of a year. I’ll probably just get another cat…or three and watch a lot of Harry Potter in bed…with wine.

    Like

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