Hello, friends. I’ve missed you.
It has been a crazy week for me. Like really crazy. Full of whirlwind reunions, backyard fireworks, weddings, bridal showers, extreme sleep deprivation, delayed planes, and my really really really cute nephew (who has seriously grown way too much since the last time I saw his adorable face).
I’ve had a lot of ideas for postings, but just didn’t have time to write them when they were all relevant and fresh in my mind. So here are the Reader’s Digest versions of what you would’ve gotten had I not been so far away from my computer for a week.
p.s. Seriously, I didn’t even have time to Facebook stalk.
p.p.s. I did have time for coffee though, don’t worry.
4th of July=Old Navy T-shirt Time
I saw a Facebook ad for the July 4th Old Navy t-shirts for $5. I’m pretty sure we went that route a few times when I was a kid, but let’s face it: The only time it is acceptable for an entire family to wear the same t-shirt is at Disney World. And that’s because it’s so effing crowded that you need some sort of universal signal that says you aren’t actually kidnapping the child that’s trying to run away from you. You’re wearing matching t-shirts, so obviously that is your child, and he’s just really excited to ride Dumbo and you let him have too many funnel cakes. It’s really a safety issue.
Anyway, it’s nice that you want to be patriotic for a reasonable price, but I have to tell you that you look silly. Sorry.
Public Service Announcement: Please be sober when using fireworks
Bhavin, I love you, but you have to admit, that one kind of got away from you…
After being delayed for 2 hours and going through 3 gate changes, my flight from Chicago on Sunday night sat on the runway for an hour while the pilot waited for some sort of weight ratio calculation that he was supposed to get from United, and we couldn’t take off without it. Somewhere around minute 45 he explained that United had forgotten we were there, but they would be getting it to him shortly. Really?!
My friend, who was coincidentally on the same flight but sitting about 10 rows ahead of me, tweeted at me and added #UnitedFail. Apparently it wasn’t as original as he thought it was. Check out the hashtag. It’s pretty humorous (unless you’re on one of those flights, in which case it’s extremely frustrating).
Sleep Deprivation and the Female Psyche
Women need their beauty sleep. Otherwise they start crying uncontrollably at random times for no real reason, and they yell at their husband for getting to take a nap while they were at a bridal shower. I may or may not be speaking from personal experience. Like this Sunday. When that exact thing happened to me. Sorry Hubbster. I love you and I’m glad you got to take a nap. I cried twice because I was just that tired. And it wasn’t just a little cry, it was me bawling the second I was out of public view. Moral of the story: Do not mess with a sleep-deprived woman. Just rub her shoulders and lead her to the nearest flat surface.
Don’t make that dirty. I see where you’re going. The flat surface is for sleeping, and you all should be ashamed of yourselves.