Confession: Things That Freak Me Out

Let’s face it, every person on this planet is freaked out by something. Whether it’s something normal like clowns (no offense, it’s a noble profession, but they can be really terrifying) or something weird like tooth picks (I’m sure their pointy-ness freaks someone out) we all have our baggage. In the spirit of over-sharing things, which is the bulk of what I do on this here blog of mine, here are a few things that really freak me out. I hope I’m not alone.

Claymation

Holy crap that is a scary smile... I think this is going to give me nightmares.

I love animated movies. Love love them. And Pixar animation is included in that blanket statement, but do you know what isn’t? Claymation. Claymation freaks me the eff out. It just looks unnatural, and terrifying, and it freaks me out. I hated it when that Wallace & Gromit movie came out, because the freaky claymation interrupted my normal TV-viewing. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, how rude. Exception: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

When Food Sticks to the Sink

Must. Clean. Sink.

I hate it when bits of food get stuck to the sides, or there are crumbs from burnt toast, or coffee stains, or the imprint of peanut butter from a knife. Ew. It grosses me out, because that’s where I wash our dishes. My log is that if the sink is not clean, our dishes won’t get clean. So I clean the sink. A lot. Comet is my best friend. Exception: None.

Pickle Juice

Just looking at this makes me want to gag.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwww. Pickles smell weird, they taste weird, and I cannot have them near me. I don’t even like to have pickles on the sides of burgers and sandwiches, because the juice infects everything on the plate. It’s like an airborne virus, and none of us are safe. Exception: My mommy’s sweet pickles. But I don’t go anywhere near the juice or the pickling process.

Ventriloquist Dummies

This was supposed to be a picture of Slappy from Goosebumps but I couldn't do it. Holy crap I'm scared now.

I cannot even describe to you how terrified I am of ventriloquist dummies. It’s really really really terrified. I saw the ‘Slappy’ episode of Goosebumps when I was like….10? 8? I don’t know how old I was, but it was too old to be that scared. Remember “Goosebumps”? Everybody watched it. That and “Are You Afraid of the Dark.” Everyone except me. This was the only episode I ever saw, and I had nightmares about it until I was 13. Okay, 15. I’m not joking. I had a picture of Slappy in here, but I had to take it out because looking at his creepy dummy face for more than two seconds scared me too much. I wish I was just saying that to be funny, but I’m completely serious. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep alone tonight. Exception: None. All ventriloquist dummies are terrifying, even Jeff Dunham’s.

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18 thoughts on “Confession: Things That Freak Me Out

  1. Some of these things fall on my doesn’t-quite-freak-me-out-but-not-very-enjoyable-sensation scale. Like claymation with the big eyes. Pickle juice doesn’t bug me until I see the dog drinking it out of a bowl. I’m like, you said no to the dog food made of savory meaty type bits but you’re going to drink this like it’s a mocha frappe? What??

    Now ventriloquist dummies cross that line. Icky icky icky. Not just the dummy, but the guy who isn’t moving his mouth. It makes my mouth feel funny to watch him.

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  2. I love claymation and pickles but I definitely get why they’d freak you out. Agree wholeheartedly regarding stuff stuck in the sink and ventriloquist dummies (and ventriloquists). But I suppose they are more things I hate than things that freak me out. What really freaks me out is the uncanny valley, immortalized by 30 Rock and in my mind because of those creepy Mio commercials where animals hang out at a bar and act like people.

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  3. My wife and I have an ongoing feud about the drain traps in our kitchen sink. She thinks they’re helpful, but frankly I don’t want little bits of food to get stuck in them rather than washing away. I think I would rather call a plumber periodically than have to clean the icky traps.

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  4. Ventriloquist AND the dummies freak me out. What reasonable and sane person sticks their hand up the bum of a wooden, human-like figure? That just seems ODD to me. And quite WRONG! I also hate the circus. I don’t find people flying through the air with possibility of plummeting to their death in front of me very entertaining. I think of it more as a possible PTSD moment.

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  5. I love claymation. I like pickles if they somehow have no excess juice (I hate the juice too. Maybe there are freeze-dried pickles somewhere in the world?). I agree on sinks though. I hate cleaning my sink and, in my current apartment, the thought of cleaning it actually stops me from wanting to cook…mainly because it’s way too small and I can’t even wash dishes in it properly. Bleh.

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  6. Food bits left in the sink is a huge per peeve of mine. I have a brush I use only for cleaning the sink before I wash dishes. Every time. And I especially scrub if I wash dishes at someone else’s house who isn’t as anal as me.

    But I have to disagree with you about pickle juice. It’s excellent in what we Canadians call Caesars… Mmm

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