Let’s face it, every person on this planet is freaked out by something. Whether it’s something normal like clowns (no offense, it’s a noble profession, but they can be really terrifying) or something weird like tooth picks (I’m sure their pointy-ness freaks someone out) we all have our baggage. In the spirit of over-sharing things, which is the bulk of what I do on this here blog of mine, here are a few things that really freak me out. I hope I’m not alone.
I love animated movies. Love love them. And Pixar animation is included in that blanket statement, but do you know what isn’t? Claymation. Claymation freaks me the eff out. It just looks unnatural, and terrifying, and it freaks me out. I hated it when that Wallace & Gromit movie came out, because the freaky claymation interrupted my normal TV-viewing. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, how rude. Exception: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
When Food Sticks to the Sink
I hate it when bits of food get stuck to the sides, or there are crumbs from burnt toast, or coffee stains, or the imprint of peanut butter from a knife. Ew. It grosses me out, because that’s where I wash our dishes. My log is that if the sink is not clean, our dishes won’t get clean. So I clean the sink. A lot. Comet is my best friend. Exception: None.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwww. Pickles smell weird, they taste weird, and I cannot have them near me. I don’t even like to have pickles on the sides of burgers and sandwiches, because the juice infects everything on the plate. It’s like an airborne virus, and none of us are safe. Exception: My mommy’s sweet pickles. But I don’t go anywhere near the juice or the pickling process.
I cannot even describe to you how terrified I am of ventriloquist dummies. It’s really really really terrified. I saw the ‘Slappy’ episode of Goosebumps when I was like….10? 8? I don’t know how old I was, but it was too old to be that scared. Remember “Goosebumps”? Everybody watched it. That and “Are You Afraid of the Dark.” Everyone except me. This was the only episode I ever saw, and I had nightmares about it until I was 13. Okay, 15. I’m not joking. I had a picture of Slappy in here, but I had to take it out because looking at his creepy dummy face for more than two seconds scared me too much. I wish I was just saying that to be funny, but I’m completely serious. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep alone tonight. Exception: None. All ventriloquist dummies are terrifying, even Jeff Dunham’s.