5 Crappy Movies That I Love. Screw you, they’re awesome.

The Hubbster is constantly making fun of me for loving crappy movies. But I can’t help it, I’m a sucker for the cheese! I do have standards for my crappy movies. For instance, they have to have a happy ending. A bad movie that doesn’t leave me smiling at the end is completely pointless. And they usually have to have a hot guy in them. Eye candy has a scientific ability to counteract poorly-written dialogue. You can’t argue with that. It’s science.

There is no way that I’m alone in this, so here’s a little peek into the craptastic films that steal my heart. I hope they do the same for you, so I can feel less silly!

5. National Treasure

Oh Nic. You are desperately trying to cling to that hairline.

I’m not really sure why Nicholas Cage thinks that we are at all fooled by the professional magic that is performed on his “hair,” but frankly that’s the least of my worries in this beyond crazy storyline. There are numerous issues that should bother me: Does nobody notice how hot Justin Bartha is just because you put some glasses on him? Why doesn’t the tour guide see them going up to the steeple at Independence Hall? Why does the Declaration of Independence not fall apart instantly in the open air? Because seriously, it should.

But ya know what? Not even Nic’s miraculous ability to nail Diane Kruger with that hair distracts me from how awesome this movie is. Every time I want a feel-good movie, I tell the Hubbster I want to watch National Treasure. Nine times out of ten he shoots me down. But, recently he put in The Last King of Scotland. I had to stop watching it about half an hour in, because while Forrest Whittaker was amazing, I knew where it was heading (for torture and murder and other bad things). So I instead went to the bedroom to read. After it was over, he came in and said “I need to watch something happy.” I said “National Treasure?!” He said “Yes.”

4. Letters to Juliet

The number of times I’ve watched this movie is actually a bit embarrassing. It’s a lot. Saw it in the theaters. Rented it via Redbox at least once, and iTunes at least twice. When we went to get our TV at midnight on Black Friday last year, it went quite smoothly. We were about the 20th people in line, they had carts with the TV’s already in them, grabbed them, and had time to do some browsing in the DVD section. This was $3. I grabbed it and said “I don’t care, I love this movie and I’m buying it.”ย It really is terrible though. Even Emma won’t watch it with me. Aside from Vanessa Redgrave, who is an inarguable legend, the acting is sub-par. The dialogue doesn’t really help the acting, and the story line is super predictable. But the scenery is gorgeous, and there’s nothing I love more than a hot Brit (sorry Hubbster, but a British accent is really the only thing you can do to be hotter in my eyes, so just deal with it). There is no earthly reason why I should love this movie. But I do, so sue me.

3. She’s The Man

My freshman year of college, my roommate and I would watch this once a week. I'm not exaggerating.

I don’t want to try and count how many times I’ve seen this movie. It will make you all judge me. I could probably say every line. Seriously. There were two movies that my beloved roommate Jaclyn and I watched on a regular basis in college: Moulin Rouge, and She’s the Man. And by regular basis, I mean once a week. Possibly twice. It was both pitiful and awesome. I choose to focus on the awesome. Come on, it’s based on Shakespeare! And it has Channing Tatum before he got all famous and was in everything. It can’t be that bad, right?!

I actually tricked the Hubbster into seeing this when we were dating in high school. I was sick, and when we went to the video store (remember when you would go to a store to rent movies?) I got to pick the movie. I grabbed this, and he was fine with it. Why? Because Amanda Bynes was on the cover in a tank top and mini skirt. Little did he know that she was dressed as a dude the whole movie. Maniacal laaaaaaaaaugh.

2. Clueless

If you say you don't like this movie, you're lying.

I’m going to play it straight with you. Clueless is not a good movie by critical standards. It over-uses phrases such as “As if!” has its characters wearing flat-out impractical hats, and is generally ridiculous in its portrayal of teenage life. But guess what? Every girl my age wanted to have Cher’s closet (ideally located on the Spice Girl bus). That’s just how we rolled. And we still love Clueless to this day. Even if Paul Rudd is kind of her step brother… and it’s creepy that he wants to date a 16-year-old when he’s 21… or however old his character is.

But I will contest that it doesn’t get much better than makeover montages weaved into a classic Jane Austen story. That’s right, this movie is based on the Jane Austen novel “Emma.” Bam. Whaddup. The haters have been schooled, and Clueless reigns supreme. Lawyered.

1. Can’t Hardly Wait

Possibly the greatest bad movie ever.

This movie is everything that was good about the 90s. I can’t do it justice in a paragraph. The clothes, the narration into the camera, Seth Green, the soft focus on Jennifer Love Hewitt with her boobs practically bursting forth from her tank top… Not to mention the amount of future talent packed into the background. Namely Jason Segel, who is sitting by the pool (completely stoned) when J. Love is searching for ‘The Bass Player’ from That Thing You Do. His real name is Ethan Embry. But I always think of him as ‘The Bass Player’.

If you are a child of the 90s and haven’t seen this movie, you need to. As soon as humanly possible. Feel free to report back to me ๐Ÿ™‚

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38 thoughts on “5 Crappy Movies That I Love. Screw you, they’re awesome.

      1. Btw, that was a quote from She’s the Man… in the very likely event that you actually haven’t seen it and I just sound like a crazy person…

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      1. I loved it too. My mom & I took my oldest daughter & her best friend to see it the night before bff moved away… then I took my sister & youngest daughter to see it a week later… and I wanted to go see it with my son’s then-girlfriend when we were having a “girl’s movie night” but it wasn’t in theaters anymore by then. I keep planning to buy it & haven’t yet – but I will. Oh, I will. And when I do I’ll watch it about once a week, just because. It’s my secret sappy romance – because on general principle I don’t LIKE sappy romances.

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    1. The Hubbster always likes to point out that if there isn’t a girl’s team available, the boys are legally required to let her at least try out. Stupid facts.

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  1. OMG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I love all those movies! Except probably “Letters to Juliet”. I’ve only watched it once, but I did love the scenary! Now: Clueless is my favorite of all the movies you mentioned… And National Treasure is so NOT crappy! I love history and mystery, and happy endings, and riddles so that movie is perfect! Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone :’)

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  2. National Treasure and Clueless are crappy movies? Dang! I love them. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t care if others think they’re bad. Then again, I did kinda dig the Spice Girls for a while, too. So there ya go! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  3. Ethan Embry was also that gay guy from Sweet Home Alabama, that movie with Reece Witherspoon. It took me five minutes to write that short sentence because I had a memory leak that resulted in me forgetting a whole bunch of names. I almost wrote “in that movie with that actress from Cruel Intentions that’s no longer married to that other guy.”

    I still can’t remember that other guy’s name. I think I’m going senile.

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  4. I found this pretty entertaining as I love Clueless, Can’t Hardly Wait and She’s the Man. I can actually quote every single line from both Clueless and Can’t Hardly Wait. Although I must say that coming from a critical point of view, neither Clueless or Can’t Hardly Wait are crappy films. Clueless is probably going to go down as a teen classic if it isn’t already. Being hyperbolic doesn’t make it bad. Comedies are exaggerated versions of real life. That’s the whole point.

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  5. My favorite guilty pleasure movie is Wedding Crashers. I feel dumb even saying it, but man, that movie makes me laugh every time I see it. Which is a lot.

    The quintessential 90s movie to me is She’s All That. I would say American Pie, but I kind of hated that movie. It felt like the more popular movie, but She’s All That — just hearing the Sixpence None the Richer song brings back a flood of memories. Mostly of being too old to really enjoy that movie.

    But I wasn’t really a 90s child. I was a 90s teenager. I was an 80s child. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Loved reading this post.

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  6. I had friends freshman year of college who loved She’s the Man, too…and I really do enjoy it even though/maybe because I’m a Shakespeare nerd. Also Amanda Bynes was cute in it when she kind of annoyed me in other stuff she did.
    Also this movie makes me realize I still have never seen Clueless. What am I doing with my life?

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  7. Yes yes yes to ‘Clueless’ and ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’ – but I almost don’t know if you can consider ‘Clueless’ a bad movie…I mean, I’ve seen academic papers written on the social science of its plot points…

    I also feel like ‘How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days” should be on this list. I mean, by all intents and purposes it’s SUCH a horrible movie – but it was the FIRST horrible movie Kate Hudson really did and it’s just so great in that sugar-free bubblegum kind of way.

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    1. Yeah, I’m totally going to blame the Hubbster for making me feel like all of the cheesy movies I like are bad ๐Ÿ™‚ But yeah, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days is reeeeeally bad haha

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  8. My favorite “crappy” Amanda Bynes movie is What a Girl Wants… dang. That’s TWO secret sappy romances that I’ve confessed here – I’m going away now before my reputation is ruined!

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    1. I saw that movie for the first time when I rented it. I watched it twice in a row. As in, it was over, and I went back to the menu, hit play, and watched it all over again from the beginning. THAT’S embarrassing, haha.

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      1. Oh, I could REALLY tell you what’s embarrassing… and I swear my kids made fun of me for weeks after we watched this movie and this embarrassing thing happened – but I’m not going to go there. :/

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  9. You’re going to get teased for the second part of your title “Screw you, they’re awesome”. Most people enjoy crappy movies – usually when they are younger and immature – because they enjoy one element of the movie and are willing to overlook the crappiness. Everyone can name a movie where they enjoyed a scene, or maybe a particular performance but the plot, pacing, special effects, or whatever combine to make the movie crap. The difference is, some people will admit the movies are crap, some people insist they are awesome.

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