When I was in college, the weekend started on Wednesday. Actually, Tuesday. No. Monday. Let’s just admit it, the weekend never ended. College was one perpetual weekend. Bars would be crowded on Monday nights, every morning held the possibility for a hangover, and a case of Keystone Light or a box of Franzia was at the top of every grocery list. Going to bed “early” meant before 2 a.m., and going to a class freshly showered was unlikely before noon. I think I used the phrase “Not tonight, I’m tired” once, and I’m sure it was followed by heavy laughter and tequila shots.
I understand that college is a different environment. It’s a bubble. You’re only in class for 3-5 hours a day, all of your friends live in walking distance, and more often than not, drink specials include $2 pitchers (sometimes those $2 pitchers were of rum and coke. God I miss college). But even when I was an intern, we went out almost every night and go to work at 9 the next morning. Then I’d come home, grab some dinner, pregame and go out again.
How the hell did I do that?
I have no idea when the exact moment was that I became an old woman. It just happened. One day I woke up and noticed numerous differences about my life habits.
1) It takes me about 3 days to recover from a heavy night of drinking. I may not feel sick on day 3, but I am still a level of exhausted that can only be explained by alcohol.
2) I can’t stay up for the Daily Show anymore. I partly blame this on the Eastern time zone, because it’s not on until 11. But still. 11? I can’t maintain enough function to sit on the couch and watch a television show past 11??
3) “Normal” drinking hours have shifted. It used to be that I wouldn’t even think of going out before 10:30. But now, drinking events are often happy hours that start at 6 and have me home (and fairly tipsy) by 9. Parties and bar trips on the weekends usually start around 8, and I’m embarrassed to admit it, I’m almost always home around midnight.
4) I watch the news sometimes. And Brian Williams tops the list of 5 celebrities I’m allowed to sleep with. Alright, he has been there for awhile, that may just be me being weird and not being an old lady. But still.
5) I say things like “teenagers these days drive me crazy” and “my children won’t have a cell phone until they’re in high school, and it won’t be a smart phone!” and “when AOL first came out” and “back in my day, yada yada yada, insert chosen outdated piece of nostalgia here.”
It’s really starting to freak me out. This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. I’m still young and vibrant and ready to take on the world! Or am I ready to have a glass of wine and watch Murder She Wrote…..? Like most 20-somethings at the start of their careers, I am shocked and appalled at my lack of stamina post-college, but let’s face it. This present-40-hr-work-week takes awhile to adjust to. Maybe if I give it more time I’ll be able to go out more than once a week.