My mother is literally one of my favorite people in the world, and I’m sure there will be many more blog posts dedicated to the awesomeness that is Linda. One of my favorite things about her is how she has developed several key catch phrases throughout my life, and how I have started to use them… a lot. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it just comes out, and I think “Holy crap, I’m just like my mother.” But I think those are moments that every girl has. Turning into your mother is a cliche for a reason.
Here are some gems for your reading pleasure.
“Piddle” Picture it: You spill your coffee down the front of your coat, or you realize that the VCR didn’t record that new episode of The OC that you thought you set up. “Piddle.”
“What a pill” Picture it: The boy who you’ve been obsessed with for an entire week and who says he’s going to call you doesn’t call, and your mom sympathizes with your difficult situation. “What a pill!” Also good for when you or your sister makes a sarcastic comment to her perfectly legitimate question, and then she calls you a pill. Lovingly.
“Jesus washed people’s feet” Alright, this one needs a little more explaining… One day, my sister and I had friends visiting from Michigan (Matty and Kyle), and my mom had just come home from an anniversary party that had been unexpectedly fun and boasted a fully stocked open bar. Kyle was complaining about the stench of Matty’s feet. Matty told Kyle if he didn’t like it he could wash them. Kyle told Matt that that was gross and he wasn’t going anywhere near those feet. My mom, who had been silent for a few minutes, just pipes in with a completely straight face, “You know, Jesus washed people’s feet.” It’s fun to pull out in any foot-related conversation.
“fffffffffffffffffff” (yes, just the ‘ f ‘ sound) Picture it: You are in an Old Navy parking lot with your fifteen-year-old daughter who has never witnessed you using a four-letter word. You then get hit by a car who wasn’t paying attention as they were backing out of their spot. Instead of swearing in front of your daughter, you just angrily hiss the beginning of the word that you really want to say because you’ve trained yourself for 15 years to keep it PG. Also useful when you start to say it, then remember that you are surrounded by small children. “fffffffffff.”
“It’s all too much!” Picture it: Your daughters come home from college and immediately deposit multiple bags of laundry and other crap in the middle of your dining room, and you have nowhere to put it because even though they don’t live there anymore, their rooms are still full of crap. “It’s all too much!” Sometimes this is followed by “I’ve got a book!” because she literally has a book called “It’s All Too Much.” It’s about organizing your life. Sadly, there are no chapters titled ‘Keeping your daughters’ crap out of your dining room.’